Out of Hiding

Until last August, I didn’t exist online.

My LinkedIn profile was silent. No social media except a private, anonymized IG to keep an eye on the teens. I spent a few hours a month making sure there was no digital footprint.

For the last decade, we lived under state protection following years of stalking, harassment, and emotional torment. My life was a series of tactical maneuvers designed to keep my family untraceable.

We bought our home through a trust. My children took their own private bus to school. They were enrolled under a protected address and used Ted’s name (now their name, but that’s its own beautiful story). As a COO, I am used to managing high-level complexity, but for years, my most critical project was remaining invisible.

I lived on the safe side of a wall. We thought it was high enough and thick enough.

Two years ago, he found me.

I considered running again. But I’ve realized that surviving is not the same thing as thriving. While you can stay safe in the shadows, you cannot truly lead from there. And life is so much more beautiful in the light.

Over the last few months, I’ve begun sharing the raw and nuanced parts of this story on social media and from the stage at a few speaking engagements. Every time I speak the truth out loud, my voice gets a little stronger and the pain gets a little more purpose.

Coming “out of hiding” this past August was a deliberate choice to stop letting fear-based decisions dictate my trajectory. I am trading the protection of anonymity for the power of being known.

I am still a bit trepidatious about standing in the light. But I know the Lord has given me this brain and these words for a reason. I’m done looking back.

For a long time, I was silenced. Today, I’m ready to be heard.