Waste is the enemy. So if I have fuel in the tank, I burn it. Anything less than pushing myself to the limit feels like I’m being lazy.
Right?
That’s what I used to think. But here is the thing about engines. If you run at redline long enough, you don’t just run out of gas. You blow a gasket.
(I am really confident in this analogy because my husband has explained engines to me. At length. Many times.)
I used to be the gasket.
For years, I confused capacity with sustainability. I thought “I can do this” meant “I should do this.” But capacity is what you’re capable of in a moment. Sustainability is what you can maintain without breaking.
I can answer emails at 9 PM. I can take Friday afternoon meetings. I can squeeze in one more decision when my brain is already done. But should I?
It’s not about being lazy. It’s about serving future Jenn.
So now? Mornings are blocked. That time is reserved for my Highest and Best. The deep work. Strategy. Big decisions. I don’t waste a sharp mind on meetings.
I don’t schedule anything but tasks on Friday afternoons because my brain is done by then. Anything I decide at 3 PM on Friday is a decision I will regret on Monday.
And I no longer answer emails after 4 PM. Not because I don’t care. But because I know that answering when I’m depleted leads to mistakes I have to fix later. And my family deserves my full attention when I am home.
This isn’t about lowering standards for myself. It’s about math.
You can give 100% until you break. Or you can give your best where it counts, protect your peace and actually stay in the game.
I would love to end this post with “You can’t lead shit until you can lead yourself.”
But, of course, I gave up cussing this year.*